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A sabbatical, of sorts

music to read by :: Sabbatical (Michael Uzowuru)

I’ve been running into a lot of brick walls these days, when attempting the things I love. Interpreted literally, I am covered with bruises, constantly sporting a mild headache; figuratively,  I’m depressed, stressed, and again with the headache.

what sabbatical should look like

what sabbatical should look like

For the literal brick walls, I’ve started wearing my glasses more, but this makes me nuts as they are “reading” glasses and I find the more I wear them, the more I have to wear them. My eyes are becoming lazy in their old age. The figurative walls?  I’ve had to make some decisions regarding my time allotment, being realistic in what I can and cannot accomplish without underestimating my, well, ability to accomplish stuff. I am my own worst enemy after all.

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The best goldarn sammich buns. Ever

music to read by :: Sandwich (Blue Cheer)

And I am sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the eggs and sugar. Nope. No way.

I have this recipe in my old and tattered bread book by Better Homes and Garden, inherited from my mom, however I am going to write it out in my method, as I don’t use a mixer, and am just a combine stuff add flour kinda bread maker. It is listed as a hamburger bun but, trust me, you will use them for all your yummy sammich needs.

Start with your yeast – 2 tbsp, or two packages depending on how you roll. I buy my in bulk, so 2 tbsp it is. Add 1/2 cup sugar and 1 tbsp salt.

Pour in 1/3 cup vegetable oil, then add 2 cups warm water and stir.

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And the winner is …. ! The Princess!

music to read by :: Princess (Moby)

Well.

It has been a long hard battle, but in the end, the princess in me has won. Tho, I do have to emphasise  the princess in me may have won the battle, but she hasn’t won the war.

And yeah. It’s the hair thing.

As you probably know,  I have been attempting to be frugal and environmental in my hair world;  going ‘no poo’, switching to henna, no post wash products, and reduced blow drying.  Since February past, I have saved money, used no chemicals,  and produced no garbage with hair care. It was all good.

Except.

The princess in me hated it.

Last week I snapped. Big time.

I popped out of the shower, combed out my chemical- free  (yet tangle-free)  hair, and proceeded to glare at my reflection.

Out came the scissors.

Back came the full on bangs.

Then the princess whispered, ever so softly, “You make your own god-damn butter. You deserved to have shiny, red hair. You deserve to have shiny, red, sleek hair. You even deserve to hop into your car, drive to the big box pharmacy, and buy chemical hair dye. Right. Now. I’ll even let you buy it on sale.”

And I am sad to say I listened. I hopped into my car, I drove to the drug store (one might even say, “raced”), and I bought chemical hair dye.

And it was good.

I’m still ‘no poo’, it’s pretty amazing really. I love not using shampoo and conditioner.

But I’ve compromised on the hair colour. I’ll use the commercial stuff, but only get it on sale. And since it comes with deep conditioner, I will use that every week or so, so as not to totally fry my hair, or throw out a usable product that I’ve paid for.

And, most importantly, I’m not going to beat myself up over it.

As my inner princess said, “I make my own god-damn butter!”

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Forget about the damned zombies ….

music to read by :: Bread and Circuses (Billy Bragg)

 

 

It’s a zucchini apocalypse here at casa vassal.

If these things get much bigger I will have to find the machete and go to town in a whole lob off their heads and make some zombie bread kinda way. Only … I’m not too sure if zucchinis have heads. Sure, their flowers do, but we are waaaaay past containment here, and are into full blown zombie takeover.

er … I mean …

zucchini takeover.

Gotta Run Zucchini Bread

In a large bowl, mix 3 cups shredded zucchini, 1 cup sugar, 2tbs molasses + oil to  make 2/3 cups, 2 tsp vanilla, and four eggs.

Sift together 3 cups flour, 2tsp baking soda, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp all spice, 1/2 tsp baking power. Add this to the wet mixture and stir, stir stir.

Chop up a bunch (7? 10?) dates, add, stir some more.

Pour into two greased bread pans (or, you know, 4 mini pans, muffin tins, whatever – but adjust the baking time accordingly) and bake for 50-60 minutes in an oven preheated to 350.

Now, honestly, I never measure the zucchini and I find my bread takes a wee bit longer to cook, due to its moisture content.

But it’s well worth it.

((note to self :: take out your damn camera and stop taking pictures with your phone. k? thx. love, me))

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Vegetarian with bacon, please

music to read by :: True Vegetarian (Clint Eastwood and General Saint)

Now, before some people get all up my business about this, I was a vegetarian for many, many years. And for a brief moment in time, also vegan.

Then I was pregnant and all bets were off.

And yes, I know, it is possible to be vegetarian, pregnant, and healthy. But not if you were me.

Because, you see, from about 4 weeks to the very morning I went into labour, I had morning sickness.

Except let’s call it … oh, I don’t know … hey! I’m awake sickness! Seriously, I weighed less at full term that I did prior to becoming pregnant.

But because I made the decision to eat meat and consume dairy I managed to stay somewhat healthy and consume enough of what my daughter needed to pop out at close to 9lbs, and grow to be almost as tall as I am  – at 9yo.

One of my favourite vertical moments from the pregnancy, was eating out with friends. The hubby ordered a vegetarian burger – with bacon. The cook came to our table before preparing our food to verify the order and to check to see if my husband was sane. His response to the cook was, “hey, you make a damn good veggie burger and I like bacon.”

Vegetarian Pizza with Bacon

Dough
This is a quick and easy dough that requires no rising. So yay! Pizza can be an anytime meal! Also, I have no counter space, so I make this (and all my bread products, frankly) in one bowl, with no turning out for kneading. You’ll need …. Continue reading

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Not only am I frugal and a princess, I am also a Diva

And being a diva is a lot to live up to!

But before I go on, I’d like to worn the guys and my dad that they may just want to skip this post. Not because it’s inappropriate, but because I’m going to write a wee bit about {{shhhhhh}} feminine protection {{shhhhh}} and how it can be frugal, environmentally friendly, and not at all gross.

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Focus on the mayo, not the broccoli

When I was in my early twenties, and of a clubbing mentality, I would frequent a local dance club that catered mainly to the gay male of our species, and played the best club music around. As a straight female, this was a pretty safe place to hang as long as one was comfortable with co-ed bathrooms and all that implied in a gay dance club. Sure, my wardrobe probably wasn’t up to standard, but I could bust a move, and as long as I was allowed to pee in peace all was good.

One evening my to-be-husband and I decided to take our then roommate to this club, forgetting it was male stripper/dancer night.

Oi vey.

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